then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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