You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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