who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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