She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize