I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
