I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
