we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
