Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish you could order shots online.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
