Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize