i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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