if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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