If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So apparently I’m into choking now
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