I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
