And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
