it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
