So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
