I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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