She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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