At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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