Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
