Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
