Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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