wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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