so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
