I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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