We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
