This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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