I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My balls are so social today.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize