God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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