you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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