Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
