And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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