I seem to have left my pride at pride
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
