Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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