Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
