Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
