Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
