DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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