your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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