somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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