I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
her vagine was all disorganized.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We don't watch enough power rangers
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
