i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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