Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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