If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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