No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Green mimosas i think yes
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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