I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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