So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
