i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
