I can tuck mytits in my pants
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
