Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
