Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
