i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
another moral hangover. fuck.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
