also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
