were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
