make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
