Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
