alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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