I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
