the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
