i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
