A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize