I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
