they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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