You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
