i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
