He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
