So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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