Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
