I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
