got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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