what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sorry my hands just texted you
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
