STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
