Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
