pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
