I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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