I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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