She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize